1.WE WILL ALL BE GAY
Let’s be honest, if gay marriage were legal, no one is going to run out and turn gay because it’s legally recognized. Unless of course the tax benefits are better, nothing can sway a person’s high moral standards like making a buck…
Some people even believe that homosexuality is a disease, that somehow if it’s legal there will be an outbreak like bird flu.. people don’t catch it from sitting on a toilet seat..or not washing their hands.
There are even some doctors who claim to cure homosexuality…Funny, they don’t want to cure two smoking hot porn chicks engaging in lesbian sex for their viewing pleasure. No one is outlawing the self-gratification material.
- PRISON SEX
Interestingly enough, I’ve heard people say they would commit a crime if it weren’t for the threat of institutional sodomy…Really?
My how far we have fallen, forget the Declaration of Independence and ‘We the People,’ now it’s the declaration of your loss of anal independence written by Bubba and it goes like this- ‘You sure do look pretty, you’re my bitch now’… that’s what’s holding the very fabric of our society together…
- ALIEN ANAL PROBING
This is something I don’t understand. How in the world can a being that has the ability to travel through space and time, not have an x-ray? Even if they did perform an anal probe on someone, we aren’t tootsie rolls, drilling in Uranus isn’t going to produce the secrets of the universe, if it did we would have known it by now. Considering our limited human technology, when you go to the hospital, there isn’t an anal probe at the door..we have an MRI. We don’t have to shove something up your anal cavity to perform a basic diagnosis. Who in the hell would actually believe a superior being would?
It‘s crazy– We don’t fear an apocalyptic alien invasion that has the ability to wipe us out with a laser beam, we fear an analpocalypse anal invasion from which there is no closet to hide in.
- DROPPING THE SOAP IN THE SHOWER
This is one of my favorites. Every jr. high boy’s worst nightmare…I don’t know the statistics of people dropping soap and becoming victims of anal sex, if it ever happened.
Unless you’re on a youth football team during the hazing season.
Besides, shouldn’t we be more concerned with slipping on the soap in the shower and breaking our neck? Not LGBT stormtroopers performing a random sneak attack on your ass out of no where… like an gaynalkrieg…lighting fast anal warfare from which there is no running.
- THAT HOT CHICK WAS REALLY A DUDE
Probably the worst fear out there, after the greatest sex of your life waking up to what you thought was a lady and knowing you loved it.
I commend and applaud Caitlyn Jenner we should all be so brave to be true to ourselves. But let’s be honest, she looked pretty damn good, the defcon threat level for straight dudes being duped just went to sphincter level- super tight.
- GAY MARRIAGE WILL RUIN THE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE
This is another one of my favorites. The courts are so concerned the institution of marriage would be destroyed if gay marriage was legalized. Let’s take a look at the success rate of heterosexual marriage: I think it is around 50 % failure. I think we can all agree the courts should be a little concerned with dealing with the rampant escalating criminal behavior and the straight people should realize they did a pretty damn good job of ruining the institution of marriage all by themselves
- SPREAD OF DISEASE
I have an idea- Instead of outlawing gay marriage, how about we outlaw performing oral sex on a woman because it can cause throat cancer in men? You want to know why they won’t outlaw cunningligous? I’ll tell you why: Because by the time the ink dried on the new law, women would riot and burn this country to the ground. There you have it…You want change? Go ahead and outlaw cunningligous. The glue that holds marriage together would be gone, as would the institution of marriage, all women would be instantly gay, the only hot chick a guy would get is a dude that looks like a lady, dropping the soap in the shower would be the new mating sign..OH MY GOD, the anal invasion would commence…and prison sex would be the number one reality TV show in America…we would immediately have a return to the dark ages .. we’d all find out in a New York minute why hell has no fury like a woman scorned…
Thankfully our leaders and their infinite wisdom don’t always know about what’s best for us..
Let’s all drink to that.
once you GoDeviant you never go back…