Being a stay-at-home mom and having my primary responsibilities involve caring for my family and home, I do not generally concern myself with news from the outside. I do not watch the news nor do I read online news sites because quite honestly I do not care. I only really keep up with the news when I am tracking events that may affect us. I spend the majority of my internet time looking up activities to do with my children and so I have accidentally opted in to a couple of parenting newsletters. One headlines have caught my attention recently about stay-at-home moms and I am overly disturbed by what I have read.
You must keep in mind that this articles was published by a major parenting website, one that bring in millions of visitors seeking out advice on how to best care for their children. The article caught my attention with the headline, ‘Should Stay-At-Home Moms Go Back to Work?’. The author boldly stated “the amount of time moms spend with their kids between the ages of 3 and 11 has no impact on their well-being whatsoever”. Just reviewing that article to write this post has renewed the outrage I felt having first saw it. How in the world could anyone be so irresponsible to put those words into print? And how did we let our society become so numb to the importance of a stay-at-home mom that a family magazine would actually be able to continue operating after giving such dangerous advice.
There are several serious issues with these this article, this way of thinking, and the fact that it is undoubtedly tied to the guilt that working mothers feel leaving their young children. Instead of working towards returning to single earner families that were able to raise and support their own children while being a part of their lives, these types of articles are written to make parents feel better about leaving their young children to be raised by strangers or the elderly so that they can buy bigger houses and fancier things to show off to their neighbors who also do not know their own children.
Working Mothers versus Stay-at-Home Mom
Should mothers feel guilty about going to work and not being with their children? Parents, especially mothers, are hardwired to care for and instinctively connect with their children. Women are on this earth to carry and care for their children. It is not a burden, it is a blessing and a life fulfilling purpose. Dogs do not pay other dogs in bones to look after their litter so the momma dog can go fulfill herself in another way. In fact, the entire decline of Western Civilization can be attributed to the entrance of women in the workplace. The United States is actually one of only two countries in the world that does not mandate paid time off for new mothers. This alone should prove that our society does not value mothers caring for their children. But as the old saying goes, mother knows best, and we as parents must fight the propaganda that these types of articles spread, and make our families our priority again to ensure a better future for our children.
Being a stay-at-home mom for my stepchildren in their adolescence and then staying at home to raise my own two children have been the most fulfilling experiences of my life. I do not feel any guilt associated with not earning a wage to support them. I am not sacrificing by not working, after all what is more important than caring for my children? The answer to that is easy: NOTHING. I have no fear about my daughters not being successful in the future because our family made the decision to personally care for them. That concept is utterly ridiculous. In fact, the only time I experience any anxiety is when I am away from my children, which for me is luckily a rare occasion.
The article quoted a working mom accusing a friend of “wasting” a Master’s degree by staying at home with her children. Why have we let ourselves be so conditioned to believe that the only fulfillment we can feel in life can be measured in dollars? I graduated from college with a Bachelor’s degree in business and I do not believe for one second that I am wasting my degree by choosing to raise my children instead of working. Quite the contrary, college was more or less a waste of my time and money because I already knew upon entering enrollment that I would choose to be a stay at home mom and raise children. Had I met my husband earlier in life, I would have made the choice not to go to college and instead start a family. The choices we made together are not “sacrifices” but from the start our life together we chose a home and cars we could afford on one working wage and have celebrated those wise decisions.
Why do we talk about women wasting their “potential” by not working and choosing to be a stay-at-home mom and care for their families? How about the “potential” to raise a great generation? This type of conditioning is nothing more than a ploy to force more moms into the workplace and further decrease working wages and family ties. Let me be perfectly clear: there is not one benefit to working moms that outweighs the value of raising and caring for one’s own child.
Our society needs to seriously wake up and ask ourselves why we even bother to have children if we do not wish to take care of them. Further, the instability and lifelong impact of not being able to depend on a child’s own parent is severely harmful. I think we can all agree that our newest generations are borderline mentally unstable, completely unable to deal with their emotions, and they certainly have shown the potential inability to care for their future children. I personally attribute all of this to the lack of family ties and support, which is being furthered by garbage and lies, such as the articles referenced. A solid foundation, built on strong family ties, will be the only saving grace for future generations. The flip side will be the downfall of our civilization.