I read tons of articles about parenting and raising children, mostly written by overly opinionated, self proclaimed child expert psychiatrists. The one thing I know about raising children is that it doesn’t take an expert. Humans have been raising children on this planet for 100’s of thousands of years just fine without experts. I have personally raised very successful, well adjusted children. I have always personally adhered to a few rules while raising my children. I have always believed in a few things that are tried and true and certainly don’t require an expert to tell me.
Deviants Smile at Their Children Constantly
One of those ideas, is I always smile at my children. When they wake up in the morning and I see them for the first time that day, whenever they walk into a room that I am in. When I come home from work and they greet me when I come in the house even when they make mistakes or when they do something good. When they take the time and want to assist me in a household chore or hobby. You name it, I smile at them all the time.
You may be wondering why I do that, the answer is very simple. I want my children to know that I love them and I enjoy seeing them, talking to them and they make their father happy just because they are around. Humans can communicate without speaking. We as parents don’t have to constantly buy children things to try and convince them we love them. Sadly, most children will figure that game out pretty quick.
Children have a natural desire for their parents’ affection and admiration. Children want to know they make their parents happy. Most children today only find their parents affection and attention when they are good at sports or activities. When they excel in school or when a parent can use their child as a thing to brag about to their friends. Children are not our toys or puppets to put on display whenever a parent sees fit.
Whenever my children played sports it didn’t take me long to figure out they didn’t like being harassed after every event. Whenever they were done participating, I always tried to give them words of encouragement and just smile. No one is perfect, least of all a child. They are learning and need guidance not criticism.
Don’t Put Your Misery on Your Children
Parents today are stressed to the ends of their wits. Children don’t need to feel like they are a burden or a causing stress for parents. They need to know parents are happy to take care of them.
When I get the opportunity to see them before they go to school, I always smile and let them know I want them to have a great day. One thing I stay away from is stressing them out in the morning. Children don’t need to spend the entire day on edge or in fear when they come home one of their parents will be in a bad mood and feel like they should hide. Children are not the cause of a parents stress today, everything else is. I personally feel children are one of the few rays of light in an increasingly dark world. They are the only reason we are here, if parents don’t protect them and their state of mind who will?
When my children go to bed, I always smile and wish them great dreams and let them know I can’t wait to see them in the morning. I want them to know I am excited to see them and can’t wait to talk and play with them. I want them to know tomorrow is a great day and the one thing they can count on is their daddy can’t wait to spend it with them.
The Deviant View – Raising Children
I’m certainly not perfect and there are times that whatever is going on that I have to deal with will undoubtedly test my patience, however, I strive to not let my children see it. Those problems are for adults not for children. If we as parents constantly walk around with scowls on our face, intentional or not what do you think your children will think? If every time they walk into a room and you are pissed off at that world and they see you looking at them with anger what do you think they will feel like?
If every time they are done with an event and you act like it bothered you to be there or you would rather be doing something else, what do you think they will feel like? If you constantly bitch every morning when they get up for the day, what do you think they will feel like the entire day?
It’s not hard raising children to be happy and well adjusted. Simple things like smiling at your children when you see them can go a long way to the state of mind of a child. They don’t need material things that piss you off when you buy them. They need to know that when they are in the presence of their parents, it makes their parents happy.
A simple smile is the greatest form of encouragement a parent can give their child. Just knowing you are happy they are there is a wonderful way to let them know how important they are in this world and it doesn’t cost you a penny or require expert advice.
By King Deviant
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